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Quan Chi2
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 Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:08 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: Help with English Assignment.--Animal Farm by George Orwell |
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I have a second essay due 11/21 and we got the assignment yesterday(Friday 11/18)
The assignment is to type a 1 page essay(no words more or less) on what type of government Animal Farm was. I also need to give examples.
If anyone can help me, I'd be glad. I got a B(90 in Mr. Harris's English class(heh wierd but good)) on the last Animal Farm essay we had to write, which was the best in the class. I got an 'A' on the last essay(different story). I want to maintain this line of great grades in his class. I don't usually ask for help on essays but this one sees "type hard."
If anyone can spare and details that may help, I'd appreciate it.
Im not asking for a full written essay, but I need some details that you may have found in the book(if you read it) so that I can jot it down and consider puttng that in to back up my assumptions.
Thanks in advance.
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Cerium
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:04 am Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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1. Purchase bottle of tylenol.
2. Take entire bottle.
3. Die.
Or perhaps you should try doing your own homework, scrub. Most of us are developers, not English tutors.
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Bak
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:36 am Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Thanks BaK
Anyone else?
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Dr Brain
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:19 am Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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No. No one else.
Die Bak, you traitor.
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Smong> so long as 99% deaths feel lame it will always be hyperspace to me
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LearJett+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:25 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Just sparknote it and write the damn essay. It's only a fucking page.
Kids are so lazy nowadays...
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Solo Ace
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:28 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| And how old are you again?
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Purge
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 2:40 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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You sad little monkey. Who needs help with a 1 page essay? In my sophomore year, we did 4+ pages MLA style and no one needed any help with that easy shit.
SparkNotes is a good study guide, and Wiki is a good encyclopedia for essays. Man, you wouldn't last a second in junior year. 
BTW, Mount will demolish your school for the 25th year in a row at the Turkey Bowl. 
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LearJett+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 6:26 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| Solo, I'm 18
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Solid_Fire
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 6:46 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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I Read this book last year (9th grade), And i'd help you, but i figure you can do your own work, since you have a B. Good luck.
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 6:56 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Purge you dumbass, I can do the same thing. Perfect example: just got an 'A' on a 5 page essay I did ALONE, 1 night. It doesnt matter if I'm a sophmore. If Im asking for some help its for a reason. Its not that Im lazy. I just need more sources than just the actual book. I need things like a well detailed synopsis, character list/descriptions etc... so tha I can form an essay from it.
You act like you're so much smarter than me, and it isn't even funny.
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Contempt+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:02 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| Quan Chi2 wrote: | | You act like you're so much smarter than me, and it isn't even funny. |
He must be smarter than you if you are asking for help here.
Also, if you got an A on a 5 page paper you did in 1 night, then why do you need help doing a 1 page paper. Another thing, what other sources do you need other than the book you are writing the paper on?
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:09 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Its not a very easy assignment for me.. Its just a weakness. Can everyone just please stop trying to make it look like Im dumb for asking? Obviously if I did not have trouble on a 5 page essay and I am asking for help on a 1 page essay, something must be complicated.
The 5 page essay... Only a few errors that the teacher marked. There were 2 seperate grades. I got a 94% on the rules and an 'A' on the essay. We could not use 'I' or 'you' in the essay and I used them twice. That assignment was easyier than this as
Ten Laws.doc - 34 KB
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Contempt+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:20 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| LOL! That's like a 3 or 4 page paper. The heading took up 1 page.
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:26 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| When I took away the space between the heading and title, it came to 4 & 3/4 pages.
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Cyan~Fire
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:38 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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LOL.
| Quan wrote: | | The rules above are the rules that were most significant to me if me myself were to have my own government. |
YOU GOT AN A ON THAT. LOL.
At least you used subjunctive.
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LearJett+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:08 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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I'll critique your last essay so this one isn't as awful -
- Don't make a giant list in the beginning unless you were supposed to
- Setting things on fire is the same thing as destroying property, yes?
- | Quote: | | For us (the government) to officially be aware of whether this rule is not being followed, we will assign special officers from the world army to a station in an area in each part of the world, enabling them to patrol an area only in their jurisdiction (this applies to all rules). This law is existent because it can prevent many arguments and headaches (problems) amongst both the civilians and authorities |
Stop putting parentheses, people reading can tell what you're saying
- | Quote: | | No stealing is not a major crime but it is a rule that forbids a human being or animal from taking without permission. |
When you have things like this, don't use a double negative. Just saying "Stealing is not a major crime"
- | Quote: | | The fifth rule is very plain and simple. No one is allowed to kill anyone else. |
| Quote: | | We strive for peace throughout the land. That is our main goal. |
Combine sentences like these
- | Quote: | | Murder of another human is intolerable mainly because it can cause grief among the murder victim’s family and friends. It might also make living in the area of the murder hard for the inhabitants to cope with because it can make them feel like they aren’t safe. Our goal as the official world government is to keep a happy environment for everyone to live in. Killing can also result in wars. |
Elaborate! HOW might it cause grief, HOW might it also make living in the area difficult, HOW can killing also result in wars? This is the biggest thing that separates bad papers from good papers, and it happens in many more places than these.
- Be more creative than "First, Second, Third, Fourth, etc, etc, etc"
- Check your wording on many, many things - it doesn't sound like english. Example given: | Quote: | | The rules above are the rules that were most significant to me if me myself were to have my own government |
- | Quote: | | To conclude this essay explaining the official rules issued by my government, I will end with a message that pertains to what we as a government strive for. |
Never ever EVER end like that. Don't say that you're going to do something - just do it.
These are the biggest things that stuck out. I didn't want to argue ideologically with you about your paper, I just wanted to give constructive criticism to help you with your next. Just make sure that for every example/instance/point you bring up, you prove it. I can't believe that you got a 94% on that...
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D1st0rt
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:32 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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How can someone not know what government animal farm was? It was about as blatantly obvious as you can get 
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:43 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Lear, The teacher corrected alot of those errors you posted above. Thats why I got an 'A' instead of an A+. Cyan, that sentece was corrected aswell. I got alot of WC (Word choice) marks on the paper, which I was not happy about.
Heh, my errors werent too bad. Im not crying about it 
I thank you guys for the critisism though. It just makes me more aware of what to do when I am doing my next essay(oops I did my next essay already!).
Also, the reason for the parenthasis after almost each idiom was because well.. THEY'RE IDIOMS! I got a lot of points off of the essay before that because I spoke as if I were speaking to my "general" public.
Last edited by Quan Chi2 on Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:48 pm, edited 2 times in total |
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Dr Brain
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:46 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| A lot is two words.
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:43 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| Brain, I know.. typo..
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LearJett+
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:43 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| Quan, if your teacher gives you extra points for writing like that than I know why your essay is to the caliber that it is.
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Quan Chi2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:45 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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Cerium
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 10:09 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| That wasnt a compliment, tardo.
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Purge
Episode I > Eposide III
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 11:03 pm Post maybe stupid Post subject: |
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| That was the worst organized essay that I've ever read. No wonder your school isn't even recognized.
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