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Solo's crazy ex-girlfriend blog
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:54 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Note: I know there wasn't really a point in writing all this, because nobody will read it anyway and I'm the only one who really cares. Oh well...

Yeah, this thread's boring, indeed.

Uhm, she hasn't been in his bed yet, actually she's not even allowed to see him...

I don't know, I guess I'm living in some kind of fairy tale...
We were talking today when I was at her house... she said some things now that really turn all the things she said before around.
I don't want to believe it anymore, I don't want to fall for another lie.

She really needs some sense knocked into her head, yes.
Why is she giving up on a guy who gave her everything she wanted? Why is she giving up on a guy who showed he really did care about her? Why is she giving up on a guy who did actually respect her?
The guy she's with now actually threatened me before, and he was trying to make me think Alexa was the one telling him to go up to me and try to scare me or something. Not really respectful, but...

Well, whatever he has done, everyone thinks he's an idiot, and her parents already disapproved this guy.
I don't believe her when she says she was over me before Christmas. I think she just got taken away by her stupid illusions and... what's that called... infatuation?

I don't know what love is, I don't know what I still feel for her. Heh, I don't think there's a clear definition for "love".

She doesn't deserve me, at least, not at the moment. She's not looking for a thing called "love", she's looking for attention.

Bleh, I was willing to do anything for this girl, we even chose schools together so we could study in the same city...
I was letting my feelings and my plans depend on someone who I really can't depend on.
I did learn the lessons I was supposed to learn, though, in a tough way. Next time, I'm not going to let my decisions depend on someone else. I'm not going to lose myself in someone again, until I get married or something. I'm not going to let anyone take advantage of me anymore (I don't know why, but it seems like people pick me for such things pretty quick).

The process of getting over someone's even more complex than I thought, and all these confrontations with her don't really help of course (I still want her back, desperately). You feel like you're about to try and accept it, but before you know it, it'll seem like you're back at where you started.

But why does it seem like she's starting to realise she's been acting like an idiot? Why does it seem like she's starting to regret breaking up with me? I doubt she regrets anything, maybe she even loves the attention she's getting now.

Well, I'll leave her alone, she'll find out what she's missing, she'll find out the dumbass she's dating isn't much more than a player wannabe/hypocrite.
Come on, he said "I love her" when he was telling me to leave her alone or he'd kill me. The fact he said he'd kill me made me laugh, but how he said he loves her even made me laugh harder. I don't know what love is, probably, but I'm sure his lust isn't love. He's just too dumb to realise what he's saying.

Ani's description of people like him:
(Animate Dreams)>An idiot?

He has no clue what he's throwing himself into. He has no clue what he actually says when he says he loves her. Can you be more naive? I'm just making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, but I guess that's just an indication how much it affects me. I realise how unhealthy this is, but I'll be fine, and I'll be the winner of their games, in the end, somehow.
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Sercit
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 7:25 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Dude, just get over it. I'm not trying to be an ass I'm just saying, you're not the only one who has been in this situation. You got to realise: She's young. She's dumb, and she's a slut. Just like my ex.

Girl's are girls because they don't know what they want. They're like 90% of all kids, when mommy and daddy says no, their mind goes: yes. How many times did your parents say "Don't do that" and you did the opposite? Hell, I admit even I still want to do the opposite my Mom says. I'm twenty-three, still living at home, and getting my life back together after I let myself get in a bad rut over a girl in the same situation you're in.

... And believe me, just because "you" don't see it, doesn't mean it ain't happening, or about to. My ex dumped me after her Mom found her dildo and I think she blamed me for getting it for her, when she went and bought it herself. I thought for the longest time that she and I was it, but then I found out the guy she left me for, she was cybering, camming with him, going to the movies... but not going to the movies, they where screwing in the parking lot. All the while I said "nah, she wasn't." She was. You can't see her 24/7, and what she does is what she does.

You got a choice here. You can pine over her, try to win her back; get pissy over her and then get depressed watching her with him, or you can just move on. You're what, under twenty right? Probably under eighteen? Too much pussy in this world for you to get all up and ansy over one piece. When you finally accept that, it gets easier.
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Cyan~Fire
I'll count you!
I'll count you!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:53 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Solo wrote:
I'm not going to contact her anymore, I'm just letting her make her own mistakes without trying to get involved.

A+!

Too bad if you had only followed my advice in the beginning it would be easier.
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D1st0rt
Miss Directed Wannabe


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:28 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Here is the reference material I forwarded him to yesterday, you all can read it for your own benefit

http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Oneitis
http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/NEXTing
http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/How_to_NEXT_-_by_themuz
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Cyan~Fire
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:46 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Wow, how did I not know about that wiki. I love Ladder Theory.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:11 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Ignoring her messages is really hard. I got three yesterday.

In the first one she told me that her stepmom opened Alexa's mail and read the record for her bank account.
I think this means her parents found out that Alexa didn't pay me back yet, but spent her money on other crap instead.

During the evening she sent me a message asking "How are you? How was your day?", and at 23:30 I got one where she said "Haha, ok, you don't have to reply. Goodnight Xxxx".

I'm listening to John Mayer's music at the moment, which makes moments like these a lot easier.

Alexa's pretty confused, well, she knows what she wants, but the crazy thing is how she kept saying "I'm not sure if I still love you, but I definitely don't love him (yet)".
I was supposed to give her time to figure out what she feels, but I guess it doesn't matter.
I'm having a really hard time trying to ignore her or not to contact her, but it worked so far.
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DBeAC
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:34 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Smoke some joints man?

This is ganster way of saying it

Code: Show/Hide

shaniqua>SmokE Dem JoinTs CusZSH boAOb catshman?

Quantisha>Niga please?

Nigrisha> Bia donTSH say muy name demM DeSH nice?

ME George>Hi, Shaniqua, my dear love, may i ask you if you consider getting "layed" tonight?

KKK> fuckin mofuka traiter george im gona fuck u up

Black Girls> Niga pleaaaaaaase, donsht besh mesing wit muuuy chu girls!
KKK and gorge> hot shower!
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Cyan~Fire
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 7:42 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Solo wrote:
I'm having a really hard time trying to ignore her or not to contact her, but it worked so far.

Keep it up, you're doing well. As you know, I went through it all too.

By the way, I didn't exactly follow the ladderwiki's advice (which I didn't know about at the time), and told my ex ahead of time that I was cutting of contact, though I didn't make a scene. If you've already cut it off, however, I wouldn't recommend telling her now.
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Chambahs
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:16 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Just be a dick dude, a cold heartless fuck towards women..Why do you think all the girls go and talk to their "good listener guy friend" (The one who cares) about how her and her "asshole boyfriend" (the cold hearted fuck) are in a bad relationship? But you know what happens after all the complaining happens? She fucks the shit outta him, he buys her a necklace to shut her the hell up and says "Yea sure...i love you, now go make me something to eat" and then life goes on. Be a dick, it works, statistics show.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


Age:32
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:08 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Uh... Yeah!

I guess school makes me feel a little better during these times.
But heh, I will have to go after my money in order to actually get it back (even though I might not).

I bought John Mayer's newest album, Continuum, hehe. Ani told me it's the edge of the most stupid things I could do, but I don't care about what you think as long as it makes me feel a little better.

Chambahs, I have no idea what kind of relationships you have there, but it really doesn't work that way here. icon_confused.gif
Whenever I was being a 'dick', she didn't even want to have sex.

I'm tired of the numerous theories behind Alexa's behaviour, but I guess most of them are right.
I'll try to ignore her until her birthday or something, but I probably fail before that.

Well, it's time to vote now, even though I have no idea who I'm going to vote for. icon_confused.gif
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Chambahs
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:29 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Vote for me.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:43 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Hah, I voted for the "Partij voor de dieren", which is some political bullshit for animal rights, oh well.

I looked for the real stream behind http://music.msn.com/johnmayer and found

Quote:
mms://a232.v87252.c28730.g.vc.akamaistream.net/7/232/28730/v0001/msnent.download.akamai.com/8725/DBA90618/published/Video/Projects/High/johnmayer_fullshow_cr_1101.wmv

and that's what I'm downloading now. icon_smile.gif

mplayer -dumpstream -dumpfile johnmayer_fullshow_cr_1101.wmv mms://...

Anyway, time to write some reports for school.
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Muskrat
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:26 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

how does voting work there? is it mandatory? is there a holiday for it?
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Sercit
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:10 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I dunno Solo. Rereading all the shit you said, also taking into consideration some of the new ones. I say: give her a second chance. If she's serious, maybe she's just being hormonal and really is confused. My Aunt acted like a fucking nutcase when her hormones went fubar.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:47 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

She is acting like an idiot, but I talked to her again and we decided to not talk to eachother anymore. At least until I'm really over her.

There are a few good theories on her behavior, and I guess most of them get close.

Heh, I might have told some of you this, but my mother's really sick at the moment.
Doctors only give her a year, I give her at least 3. But I'm glad I already decided I don't want Alexa to support me when it happens.

I don't want her to be there when I graduate. I don't want to share crucial moments of my life with her anymore.

I'd give her a second chance, but not now. I'm choosing for my own life.

The sex we've had meant something to Alexa, she said, but not as much as it was supposed to.

I'm trying to let it all go and get over it. So much better for my wallet, so much better for my grades, so much better for my social life.
No real women for me anymore, I'll just use some of them as IW.
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Cyan~Fire
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:42 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Hehe, when Solo's corrected other people's bad advice I think we've had a breakthrough. Awesome.
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Animate Dreams
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:18 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

There have been 11 clear cases of breakthrough, with 23 other possible cases.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


Age:32
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 2:21 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Quote what you're talking about, I don't get it. sa_tongue.gif
You mean Chambahs' advice?

Oh and when I said "No real women for me anymore, I'll just use some of them as IW.", I guess that's kind of how I'll get over her, and, she just used someone to get over me too.
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Sercit
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:05 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Girl's under twenty-five rarely know what they want. Afterall, the bulk of them are from "Hellscertain" if you catch the drift.
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Doc Flabby
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:51 am   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

my advice would be play more subspace. Therefore reducing your contact with "females". Who needs "females" where you have a 2d spaceship game.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:01 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Yeah, and I guess Alexa just... got bored after she lost the feeling of being "in love".

I guess the relationship she just threw herself into now is just for the attention, and lust seems to be a factor too. Even though, I don't think he has any pubes yet, he's so cute!!!!1
I'd love to send him the photos of her in my bed from a week ago. sa_tongue.gif

Heh, he's just like some morrocan. People who know him even told me he would've broken her nose if she did to him what she did to me. I think it's pretty scary, but on the other hand it'd be a painful lesson to her.
I'm starting to get the feeling Alexa's not capable of having feelings of "true love" for someone.
Actually, I think she's just messed up enough to not really feel anything at the moment.

I don't know what I want at the moment. I'm trying to look forward. When she dumps this guy, or when she gets dumped (less likely), she might want to come back.
She's not ready to come back now, indeed, simply because she's with someone else, and because we still have too many conflicting feelings for eachother.
But, she might want to. The question is if I'll want to. The last weeks I made that decision easy for me by saying I'd be too weak to say no. But now I'm not so sure. I'm asking myself "Is this really someone who I want to be with in the future? Is she really worth it?".
I think she's worth a second chance, but I don't think it's worth enough to get my emotions turned upside-down again.

A friend of mine told me to prevent myself from trying to get her back. He said, when I get the chance to get her back, I'd get to see a movie about the first time in my head, which will make me ask myself if that is really how I'd want it.
I'm not sure, because she does deserve another chance, we deserve another try, but next time some things would be completely different.

The funny thing is, I actually like a girl from school. This used to be Alexa's worst nightmare after summer holidays. I said she had nothing to fear. Indeed, she didn't, but now I regret not letting that person in earlier.
During maths, yesterday, she asked me for some help, I was like "yeah sure", and the guy who was sitting next to her said "I think he's in love with you" to tease her, she replied "that's not even possible" (as she knows what's going on).
Yeah, seems a little childish, but I think it's funny how someone can notice this while I didn't even really take a good look at her.

No way, I really don't want to play a game to run away from my problems.
I've done that too many times, and I see myself as someone who doesn't really care about his responsibilities, which is something I really want to work on. sa_tongue.gif
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Cyan~Fire
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:59 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Ahh, but Doc is pretty much right. NEXTing is not "figuring it all out", it's just moving on. Don't spend all your time thinking about her, do whatever you would otherwise (play subspace, go shooting, who knows?). Shooting is great but I'm not sure if that's legal in Dutchland.
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Solo Ace
Yeah, I'm in touch with reality...we correspond from time to time.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:50 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Yeah I know it's not about trying to figure everything out, because I won't be able to. But getting addicted to the game again, no thanks. sa_tongue.gif
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Sercit
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:25 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Do it. Infact, put the pics in his locker. =P
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Cyan~Fire
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I'll count you!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:36 pm   Post maybe stupid    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Look ma, more bad advice!
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